A while back I was conversing with someone who told me that they teach their kids Sex Education the Christian way. As a Christian and a parent myself, I was VERY excited to hear what this entailed. I was ready to sit, take notes, take a video recording…I didn’t want to miss a word! They said “it’s very simple, I tell them that sex is for a husband and wife.” I waited and looked with great suspence for the rest and they said “well that’s it! That’s all my kid needs to know, sex is for married couples”. Of course my question was “what about birth control, STDs, healthy sexual behavior etc? They expressed this would not be an issue if their child waited for marriage to have sex.
As a Christian I am 100% for abstinence before marriage. As a woman, I will admit I was not a virgin when I got married.
Here is what I have to say about that approch to “sex ed”
1. First of all it’s not sex education. Abstinance is actually the oppisite of having sex, furthermore you aren’t EDUCATING them so we really shouldn’t call it that.
2. As a Christian I have heard way too many other Christians say somthing like “worst case scenario my kid will get pregnant or get someone pregnant out of wedlock and it will break my heart but we cand deal with that”. Let me assure you that is NOT the worst case scenario. What about AIDS? What about a life or death complication during pregnancy?
3. You take a huge risk beliving that your kid won’t have sex before they are married…why do people do this? Do you teach or kids not to lie? Probably so. Have they ever lied to you? I’m willing to bet they have. So what makes you think that they won’t even ONCE have a moment of indiscretion and have sex before they get married?
4. This kind of “education” must also assume that the other person won’t have sex before they marry your child too….YIKES! WHAT A RISK!
I would rather tell my child they shouldn’t have sex before marriage but make sure they know how to use a condom in case they decide otherwise, because when the doctor walks into the room and says “I’m sorrry mam’ but your child dosen’t have the flu, I regret to inform you they have AIDS” it will be too late to discuss condom use.
Most people I know that went to public school went to a sex ed class. I was surprised to find out that many Christians won’t allow their kids to go. I think that’s fine if you are TRULY going to TEACH your kids but not ok if you just want them to be ignorant. Do you have any idea how many kids believe you can’t get pregnant if you have sex if a woman is on her cycle, or that all women lose their cycle when they get pregnant, or that “withdrawl” is an effective form of birth control. I actually had a teen tell me they were certain they didn’t get their girlfriend pregnant because she jumped up and down afterward!
in a perfect world, teens wouldn’t get pregnant, everyone would be “worthy of the white dress” when they walk down the asile, and no one would have impure thoughts…but we don’t live in that kind of world so let’s arm our kids with knowledge!
I remember having “the talk” with my mother numerus times, and she was actually more informed than my teacher was…it was somehwat embarassing talking to her about it but she made sure that I was armed with knowledge. Even with the best of this knowledge not every kid will put it into practice but at least if they do turn up pregnant or with some incureable disease you will know it is not because you didn’t do everything you could to give them the tools they needed to make good decisions.
As far as sex ed in public schools…maybe things have changed since I was in school, but I actually found the class somewhat difficult. I remember having to provide the percentage of effectivness of the birth controls available (on a test) and the pros and cons of each one. I also had to list the symptoms of many kinds of STDs, how common they are etc. It wasn’t some class on how to have sex that’s for sure!
My encouragement to every parent this evening, ESPECIALLY Christian parents…teach your kids abstinance before marriage but also teach them about condoms in case they don’t listen…because is it really worth taking the chance that MAYBE they won’t slip up?
I have a personal friend with herpies, and I post this somewhat in her honor. She struggles with this condition on a regular basis, and I have seen how upset she becomes with “abstinance only” education…because she dosen’t want someone in her position based soley on the fact that they didn’t know.