This has been on my mind for quite some time. There is a lot of talk going around about rape, the way women are treated and how society views women, and I’m now inclined to speak out on the subject.
First, I tire of hearing about how women “ask” to be raped by the clothes that they wear, the places they frequent, or their behavior. If you are a man (or woman for that matter) who believes that a woman who wears short skirts, high heels and pounds of make-up and shows up to a bar and gets drunk is “asking” to get raped you are dead wrong. What you are saying in essence is that a man has no control over his body. If you as a man have so little control over your own body that you would rape a woman and cause her permanent mental harm, you need to know two things: 1. That is not normal. 2. You need to see a mental health professional NOW….no seriously…stop reading and pick up a phone!
Second, I tire of women dressing for the purpose of getting attention and then whining because they hear “cat calls”, or comments (good or bad) about their bodies and the way they look. Let’s let the cat out of the bag women….we at times do dress for attention and we know exactly how men are going to react. Let’s face it, even us married women know what gets our husbands going. So don’t go out to a bar dressed with half of your skin showing and be offended when you get looks or comments.
I also am sick on a whole other level of society getting blamed every time a woman shows her skin to the world. A woman poses nude in a magazine, or does a “risqué” nude scene in a movie and what do you hear? “Society these days!” “Sex sells” “Men have taken over” etc. All of these things are true. It is easier to get along in society by showing your body to the world, and by allowing yourself to be objectified, however it’s YOUR choice. Feminists that scream for equality and want men to own up to their behavior when they rape someone or sexually harass someone, but when it comes to a woman posing in a magazine or showing her body on television she’s a victim of society. That my friends, is NOT equality. If we want men to own up to their behavior when they rape a woman or touch her without her permission, then we as WOMEN need to own up to our behaviors when we go out dressed in next to nothing, or strip for money. If the men don’t get to cop out as being products of society then EQUALITY demands that the women as well do not get to cop out as being products of society.
My opinion is that people have this skewed view of women’s rights, and I dare say that the women who fought for the rights that we have now, would be disgusted with the turn that “feminism” has taken. Fighting for a woman’s right to vote, for her right to be paid the same as a man, for her to have control over her own body is one thing, but when I hear women complain that a man still opens doors for them, that he calls her “Mam’” or “Miss” or that he hails a taxi for her I become disgusted. Men who do those things were brought up with manners, and it’s because of women like that, that women like me who walk into a building with a baby on each hip and five hundred bags have to listen to some man say “hey can I get that door for you?” I get it, I do…he’s scared of me being another one of those women that get “offended” when a man opens a door but seriously….I leave my Wonder Woman cape at home so if you could cut the small talk and open the door so I don’t have to work a miracle to not drop anything I’d be totally happy with that.
Another thought on the matter is that we as women have lost some semblance of dignity, and also some common sense. There was a time when a woman would have been thought as being scandalous for going out in public with a dress on that had no sleeves. Now it’s gotten to a whole other level! I took my kids to the store a few months ago and saw a woman WITH HER TODDLER in a short skirt (that didn’t fit) she was bent over and the skirt was so short you could see the bottom of her behind, as if that weren’t enough she was wearing a fishnet shirt and a red bra. The clothes in no way made her look attractive as she (like me and so many others) was still trying to loose baby weight, and I know totally what it’s like to want to wear something to make you feel good, but that is completely inappropriate. Wear that to a club if you want, but to the STORE? REALLY? Where is your pride? Where is your dignity? Where are the police who need to arrest you for indecent exposure?
Maybe society views us as objects because we continuously feed into that. Maybe if we as women said “hey I won’t take my clothes off for money”, “No, I won’t sleep with you just because you bought me dinner”, and “no, I’m not going to act like a ‘dumb woman’ just so that you can feel superior” we wouldn’t be viewed as objects. Instead, we do the complete opposite and then use the excuse that “this is a man’s world and we just have to deal with it, we are just victims of it.” That excuse sounds like a child’s excuse to me. “It wasn’t my fault that I put glue in Jimmy’s seat, he said something that upset me”. Stop using cop outs. You want to change the world? Start with yourself. Stop making excuses for poor behavior, stop allowing yourself to be objectified. Start teaching your daughters to respect themselves because if they have no respect for themselves no one else will respect them. Finally, teach your sons to open doors, to be polite, and stop taking offense to everything a man does ESPECIALLY when he’s being polite.
By the way! Christian women are NOT weak. I get tired of hearing that I’m weak because I try to submit to my husband. First of all it takes a LOT of strength to allow someone the power in your life to make serious decisions. And for the record, both my husband and I know that I CAN do it without him, which is important to me because I am independent and I am strong. HOWEVER I make the CHOICE to give him that control, but when it comes down to it both of us know I’m strong enough to do it on my own. So for a strong woman like myself to allow someone that control in her life, that takes an inner strength.
Society views women the way we choose to portray ourselves…so ladies let’s step it up. We want to be seen as more than just sexual objects? Let’s educate ourselves, put more clothes on, and engage in intelligent conversation. And remember: a good man will open your doors, give you his seat, and keep his hands off you until YOU invite such an advance, and a good woman can be sexy without riding a pole or showing her buttocks to the entire Wal-Mart parking lot. So let’s make the world a better place and be good people! Thanks for your help!