Day 4: My 26 Day Journey to Becoming a Better Wife! “D”

How “Clean your house” and “Cling to Christ” went:

            As I mentioned, we were up until 4am, which caused me to be really tired the next morning. I wanted to do more in the household but I was WIPED. So, I did do a few loads of laundry, but I wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be. I did contact my husband, via Facebook (that’s our mode of communication when he’s at work), to tell him that I was exhausted, and his response surprised me: “I’m tired too honey. And hungry”. Well of course I told him to just eat (I really don’t care what the rules are at his job, if my man is hungry I think he should eat). He replied “I can’t baby, I’m fasting”. It stopped me in my tracks. Come to find out, my husband was fasting for our marriage, and praying that he would b a good example of a man to our children. What could I say other than “wow! I’m so proud of you!”. Although my goal was to cling to Christ, my husband was the best example of that yesterday. For those who have fasted, you know that it can be difficult to deal with other people while you fast. Let’s face it, Jesus went into the wilderness. Part of that was probably to get away from people! I was so proud of my husband, yet I was somewhat concerned that he would be really cranky when he got home due to the fact that he didn’t have very much sleep and hadn’t eaten all day. Believe it or not, the kids were very difficult, and my husband didn’t raise his voice once. He even let me have an hour nap and watched the kids for me. My HUSBAND clung to Christ yesterday. Even through his hunger and tiredness, he lead us in devotions again. I can’t explain how nice it is to sit next to your man and have him lead you through the scriptures. There is NOTHING sexier than a Godly man!

D: “Don’t use your bedroom as a laundry room”: It’s the last one about cleaning I promise!

            This is something that happens to almost everyone I know. Basically, you bring your clean clothes from the dryer to your bed. You then get distracted by other things, and don’t get around to folding them. Then you put them in a basket so that you can go to bed. Well, obviously you need those clothes so you pick through the clothes in the morning to find what you need, and some of them fall to the ground. You end up walking on the clothes that fell to the ground. Those clothes then get mixed with the clothes that you’ve taken off the night before, and eventually you can’t tell the difference between the clean clothes and the dirty clothes so they have to be washed again. Your room eventually looks like a laundry room gone bad. Then, you have to keep people out of your room because you are totally embarrassed by the way it looks. Plus, when it’s time to be intimate with your spouse, you are stepping over dirty socks and pushing faded jeans off the bed and onto the floor. It may not be a mood killer, but it defiantly doesn’t help.

            In my quest to get the house clean, I started with our room on purpose. I am TIRED of looking at laundry all over the place. I want my husband to be comfortable in his room, and I want to be comfortable in our room as well. There’s no reason whatsoever that our room should be riddled with laundry, clean or dirty. If you have a laundry room, no matter how full it is, take all the laundry out of your room and take it to the laundry room. It makes your room more clear, and it helps to give you a more relaxed environment.

            Start with your room first, make it a safe haven. Then work on the rest of the house. I love having a clean bedroom. The other thing I do, once the room is clean, is prevent the children from bringing anything into the bedroom. Otherwise, you have Barney Books, stuffed horses, and Legos everywhere. I also allow people to come see our bedroom if they would like a “tour” of the house, but I don’t allow people to spend any amount of time in the room. The reason for this is because our bedroom is where we spend our private time. Our bedroom is supposed to be where we spend our intimate time. It’s where we cuddle and watch movies, it’s where we do our devotions, and of course it’s where we have sex. Why would I want to allow people access to that part of our lives? So keep your bedroom free of laundry, but also keep it just for the two of you.

D: Do and say things that will bring honor to your husband:

            I know, I KNOW, it sounds old fashioned ok! I get it! The truth is though, that what we do reflects on our husbands and our families, just as what your husband does reflects on you and your family. I am a very outspoken woman, I’m not known for hiding my feelings, ESPECIALLY when I’m frustrated. Is that a bad thing? No not really. How I express these feelings though could bee a bad thing. I wouldn’t want people to look at my husband and say “oh you poor man! You have to put up with THAT!” I want people to be able to look at my husband and say “Wow! What a lucky guy to have a wife like that!”

            One of the things I’m trying to do to bring honor to my husband is be cognizant of how I look. I don’t wear makeup all the time, in fact, I rarely wear makeup. My husband says that he likes it “OK” when I wear makeup but states that he doesn’t feel that I need it. That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t make myself look presentable when I go out in public. I’m not saying that I should be a Stepford wife or anything, but I should make sure that my hair is done, my face is washed and my clothes match. I definitely shouldn’t be featured in “bad dressers of Wal-Mart”.

            Another thing I’m trying to do to bring honor to my husband is to watch what I say, with whom, and how. I’m not one of those women that thinks that when the men are talking I should be quiet, however what I do believe is that I shouldn’t embarrass my husband in these conversations. Which means thinking about what I say, and considering how I say it. I also need to think about correcting him in front of others. A lot of people would look at this and think “it’s about a woman knowing her place”, but it’s really not. Have you ever been in a conversation with a friend, and your husband corrects you on something that’s really unimportant. Not only is it annoying but it’s also embarrassing. Therefore, unless my husband is giving directions to someone and he’s said “right” instead of “left”, there’s no point in me correcting him in front of others. Of course later, when we have a moment alone, I can say something. This allows me to get out what I need to say, and makes it so that I haven’t embarrassed my husband.

            I’m also watching what I say and do when my husband is not around. We live in a small town, where it seems that everyone knows everyone. I carry my husband’s last name. That means something. It means that what I say and do is also associated with my husband. Therefore, even when I’m dissatisfied with service at a restaurant, when I’m annoyed with the lady who can’t get herself through the self-checkout at Wal-mart, when I have to wait on hold for 30 minutes to talk to someone at the automotive center, I need to watch myself, because my behavior reflects on him. This is a good rule of thumb anyway, as we are to do the same because our testimony as Christians is important. You don’t want people to look at you and say “she’s a Christian?”.

            Watching what you say also applies to what you post online. The internet is a great resource. It’s a great way to share information with other people, but one of the things that drives me nuts is when people post their dirty laundry on Facebook. All couples fight, we all have our arguments and issues, but does the rest of the world need to know about it? It doesn’t bring honor to my husband if I post negative things about him online for the entire world to read. There are things that we just can’t take back, so keep your problems to yourself! Bring honor to your husband in everything you say or do.

That’s it until tomorrow! Happy marriage!

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